Is Blood Truly Thicker than Water?

This one’s been loooong overdue…s’here goes!

Agnostic..dyslexic…insomniac….I’m wide awake and wondering if there is a doG… says:
Parents can be a right pain..
This is not a screen-name. And anyone who says it is is a danger to society and must be eliminated. says:
i know. mind you, i think my parents love me because i’m their offspring and they feel obligated to, but i don’t think they like me as a person.
Agnostic..dyslexic…insomniac….I’m wide awake and wondering if there is a doG… says:
Hmm…how can you love out of obligation?
Agnostic..dyslexic…insomniac….I’m wide awake and wondering if there is a doG… says:
I that’s what people SAY
Agnostic..dyslexic…insomniac….I’m wide awake and wondering if there is a doG… says:
but is it possible in actuality?
This is not a screen-name. And anyone who says it is is a danger to society and must be eliminated. says:
probably not, OK, so my parents think they love me because thats what they think they should do, so they never question that “love”
Agnostic..dyslexic…insomniac….I’m wide awake and wondering if there is a doG… says:
Uh huh…that’s probably closer the mark
This is not a screen-name. And anyone who says it is is a danger to society and must be eliminated. says:
although if they were to search their souls, they’d probably come to the conclusion that they don’t actually like or love me. they planned me, so they feel like they should, but if i wasnt a family member, they’d probably dislike me a lot
Agnostic..dyslexic…insomniac….I’m wide awake and wondering if there is a doG… says:
That’s the thing…I think blood drowns the truth of feeling more times than not…
This is not a screen-name. And anyone who says it is is a danger to society and must be eliminated. says:
the thing is, i don’t like them as people either. they’re arrogant, hypocritical and obsessed with what people think of them
Agnostic..dyslexic…insomniac….I’m wide awake and wondering if there is a doG… says:
So it’s a reciprocal relationship….the best kind…..
This is not a screen-name. And anyone who says it is is a danger to society and must be eliminated. says:
indeed it is
This is not a screen-name. And anyone who says it is is a danger to society and must be eliminated. says:
although they don’t seem to notice this
Agnostic..dyslexic…insomniac….I’m wide awake and wondering if there is a doG… says:
eheh

The above excerpt, from a convo that took place months back, put the subject of familial attachments at the forefront of my mind. When I start to think about it, it really fucks with my head how one is expected to “love” someone simply down to genealogy. I mean beyond, blood, what makes family members so special that they deserve our undying and unconditional love and respect above all else? Forget all the bullshit that Confucius, the Republican/Conservative party, Church and the Mafia shove down your throat – can you cast an eye over their familia and honestly, hand-on-heart, say that they love each and every member? I don’t want the answer expected of you, but rather the truth that resonates from your own sacred heart. Double-check before you carve your response into stone….

Responses along the lines of “I don’t like him, but I love him” won’t do either; that’s like saying that a cup of tea is piping hot despite your inability to feel a trace of its warmth on your fingers. Love – whatever form it takes – can only grow from first liking something. Saying otherwise is like saying you don’t have to be able to walk before you can run. I reckon the most telling responses would be those which resemble “I don’t think we’d get along if we weren’t family” or summat along those lines; you’d be admitting to putting on a façade for the sake of “blood”. Why do people think nothing of living a lie? What is so intrinsically special about a blood tie? I’ve had this notion of unconditional respect shoved down my throat since time immemorial, but in reality “respect your elders” is possibly one of the most damaging phrases contrived by man. Add on the obligation to “love” without a moment’s consideration for personal merit, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for disaster…..

Let’s take an example – the old Biblical commandment to “honour thy father and thy mother”. This always leaves a nasty taste in my mouth (along with much in the Bible), especially when one considers the raft of shitty mums and dads out there. I mean, if your parents raise you in an environment that engenders mutual love, support and respect, then all is well and good – “honour” works when it’s a two-way street. But does that arbitrary absolute apply in situations where the child has a mother who constantly belittles, restricts and undermines them? What about for the son who is the victim of mother’s drunken bleatings and beatings; or the daughter who is little more than a cum suppository in the eyes of daddy dearest? Does “honour” apply for those children, having such sorry excuses for life as parents… guardians? There are many less horrific examples of parenting which, in their own right, also need to have their right to “honour” brought into question…….

Of course one could substitute brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and grandparents for the parents in the above scenarios. It makes no difference – the question remains the same. Why the fuck do such dysfunctional, abusive wrecks deserve respect…deserve to be loved? Why must the matter of said person’s character (or lack of) have to take second place to memetic convention?

I think that this reign of the unconditional is what keeps bad parents in business, allowing them to pass on their defective memes to the next generation who will themselves propagate the faeces…

Thinking about it, the notion of unconditional love is truly the worst form of tyranny; under the banner of the unconditional, all must be forgiven. Then again if said “love” must be “unconditional”, is this not a condition?

Reciprocal respect – based on character and conduct – is the only condition under which any notion of love can truly flourish…..

With that in mind, I emerge full circle with my question –how many of you can claim, hand-on-heart, that each and every member of your family is truly deserving of your love?

Mull it over, mi compadres…..

~MRDA~

About MRDA

The beast shouting "I" at the heart of the world. Alien misanthropologist in a homo sapiens skinsuit. Pass the wine and get out of my sunshine!
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4 Responses to Is Blood Truly Thicker than Water?

  1. creactivity says:

    I love each and every member of my immediate family. Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Brother, one Brother-almost-in-law, Sister, Nephews all included. I don’t extend this to cousins (who used to be my best friends) or aunts and uncles (who engage in drama-rama).

  2. ghostdog_ says:

    I’m glad you mentioned the bible in this, because I think thats what it comes down to in the end. People will believe this ‘unconditional love’ for family because its been beaten into western civilisation by the bible (which is in the end, nothing more than a survival guide for people running round in the desert 2000 years ago).
    And no, I do not love every member of my family.

  3. lousy_timing says:

    This is first of two- possibly three- replies from me.
    I don’t love my mother. I did as a child and as a teen and young adult, I hope she would change because I loved her. She didn’t, and she continued to harm me. I barely know my biological father, so I can’t apply the word love to him, either. My sister is someone I’ve become closer to over the years, but I can’t trust her and she isn’t forthright about things. Honestly, I don’t know if I love her or not.
    Out of my “blood” family, I love my brother, my grandmother, and my two uncles. I loved my great-grandmother and grandfather, now deceased. I love my two children.
    I may be in a unique position to respond as a parent to the comment on obligatory love versus genuine like for ones offspring- I don’t know how many of your other LJ Friends are parents. That’s one of the other replies, though, and I have to save it for later. Warning- it may end up as a post in my journal, because it could get long.

  4. el_jaynus says:

    Good grief, I sound like a right angsty teen in that conversation! Anyway….
    It annoys me how the commandment “Honour thy mother and thy father” seems to demand respect towards someone because they happen to be in a position on authority. It can be seen today when parents give reasons such as “Because I say so” for wanting their children to obey them. I’m against people demanding respect just because of their position in comparison to others. It all translates as “You are dependant on me due to your age, which you can’t help. In my eyes, this means you have to respect me because I am older than you and you need me, whether you actually like/love me or not”.
    On the subject of loving your family…. I just don’t think many parents question their incredible love for their kids. Mine certainly never did, and if they were to question why exactly they loved me now, would probably come to the conclusion that they don’t actually like me all that much as a person.

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