I’m feeling that, after everything, there may just be hope for me yet…
Over the last few weeks,I’ve managed to procure those extra days at work I’d been after for fucking ages – it feels great to know that my take home pay’ll be more than thrice my usual amount from now on!
It finally seems that after all this fucking time swimming round in circles, I’m finally getting somewhere; finally gaining some steerage and control over this here vessel.
Despite the stubbed and swollen toe that plagued it, and various folks trying (and failing) to cajole me into the Civil fucking Service, these past seven days have been pretty damn cool for me. Having a laugh with good friends, seeing movies that make one grin from ear to ear, establishing new contacts, receiving positive feedback for one’s creative ventures, sticking to one’s self-improvement plan and discovering new and beautiful music – sometimes, the details really can add richness and substance to the big picture.
Even though I may not have everything I want; even though there are still frustrations and regrets at my heart; even though I still have quite a way to go on this path I choose to walk, I think to myself: It feels fucking great to be alive… and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
My romantic vision of life may yet become reality…