Ruthlessness & Detachment: Further Reflections Upon Saturday Night

I think I made some gains, as well as the obvious losses, from that incident on Saturday night…..

Firstly, I think I’m starting to get a handle on the technique of willed detachment (or vicious detachment as I like to call it); in the past it constituted the norm for me to emotionally overreact to any sign of provocation, to the point of sputtering and exploding into emotional incoherence and disarray; you can guess the advantages of such a reaction, I’m sure! These days, though by no means perfect in this regard, I cultivate a habit of thinking before I act, removing myself from any drama or crisis emotionally in order to get a better handle on how to handle things.

Take for example Saturday night; now, I certainly did make my indignation clear – hollering for the manager, pounding the doors to piss my friends at security off for the inconvenience – I managed to do this whilst retaining a healthy level of distance from the actual feeling itself – that is, I kept the anger from possessing me and dictating my actions. I notice that allowing emotion to deluge me tends to reduce effectiveness generally (not that I proved effective in my external goal, but I at least articulated what burned on my mind in a manner other than incoherent rage). Likewise, in the earlier incident which kicked the fiasco off – the interrupted phone convo – I refused to give way to my anger, keeping my attention focused on the call and ascertaining the whereabouts of my friend – ironic that I got barred for not doing something anyone with a brain would consider bar-worthy, huh?

All the same, as much as I may want to go back to the venue with an tyre iron and ritually pound the shit out of those responsible, I must say that I had a perverse kind of admiration for their stoic ruthlessness in upholding their (idiotic) conviction. With “thick faces and black hearts,” they made a decision which they thought (for want of a better word) worked to their favour and didn’t flinch on it. This trait, if nothing else, I admire in them, and I aim to be similarly ruthless in exacting redress for their undeniable show of cuntitude toward me……


About MRDA

The beast shouting "I" at the heart of the world. Alien misanthropologist in a homo sapiens skinsuit. Pass the wine and get out of my sunshine!
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2 Responses to Ruthlessness & Detachment: Further Reflections Upon Saturday Night

  1. dgowers says:

    it’s like rain
    It’s fine and helpful as long as you don’t let it soak into your mental clothing.
    Must avoid the circular-reasoning created by that.

  2. bastardzero says:

    Word, keeping one’s cool under any and all circumstance is the only way to survive.

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